INSIDE A DOG KENNEL – MORNING – FUTURE
DOG and HORSE enter the dog kennel access. HUMAN is a middle-aged man,
gaunt with a deteriorating suit. HORSE is mangy, unkempt.
HUMAN: It’s been a while. Didn’t think I’d meet you here like this.
HORSE: Uh, What?
HUMAN: That dog! President!
HORSE:
We did not choose him—not with his history. He treated us horses like
DIRT, Pfff. He made us seem like the losers during the games last month.
WE took the blame.
HUMAN: Yeah, but we humans still won. Besides, you’re still an animal. Everyone lost.
HORSE: Excuse me? There is more than one kind of animal. We are not the same.
We horses are proud citizens. We work hard. Do not lump us together with those dogs. They are just loud and dumb. They put animals in a
negative light.
DOG GUARD: You two. Get in line.
(offstage)
HUMAN: So you want to tell me that you’re in the horse party? Aren’t you a pony?
HORSE:
Pffff … Just because I’m smaller doesn’t mean I’m a pony! That didn’t stop you from riding me that—
HUMAN: Errrrr…
HORSE: Seriously?! I thought you knew me.
HUMAN:
For YOU, humans also are all the same! All you see is another
human Uber driver.
Seriously, when I drive no one ever talks to me. All you say is:
go forward, faster, left, right … PFFFF, keep the change.
HORSE: PFFFF…
HUMAN and HORSE stare at each other and then start to laugh, realizing they are
both complaining about the same thing.
DOG GUARD: WUFF! HEY! PUNK AND PONY! SHUT UP AND STAY STILL.
(enters quickly)
Both HORSE and HUMAN comply.
HORSE: Damn, those dogs REALLY did it. So much for loyalty.
We are prisoners in this kennel that we built together!!!
HUMAN: UFFF… Shit.
HORSE: At least we’ll be equal as prisoners until the next election.
HUMAN: If there is one, I’m voting for you.
What’s your name again?
